Trusting God When Fortitude Fails You

When my children were in school I dropped them off and picked them up every day. I drove them to school until it became embarrassing for them; actually, way longer than that. When they were in high school I had to park away from the school so their friends wouldn’t see me picking them up. I didn’t love the long drop off and pick up lines, but I loved spending time with them. I wanted to enjoy every second I could with them.

In the morning we would say a prayer and read Bible verses. We would often read Psalm 91. Reading this with them made me feel like I was in control of how well their day went. When I prayed I believed I was wrapping them in the safety of my impenetrable mom bubble.

I somehow thought my prayers + my worry + my control was protecting them.

I lost my peace thinking I could control every aspect of their lives. I focused on the act of praying more than I focused on the prayer itself. I focused on what I was doing instead of what God was doing. I had to let go of my imagined control over my kid’s lives.

It is hard to relinquish this control, even to the Almighty. But we never held that power to control their lives anyway, only to guide them. When I look back on some of the decisions I made in my life it only makes sense to give my children over to God. I had to remember, God loves my children even more than me.

Keep guiding, keep praying, worry a little less. And guide, and pray, and worry a little less.

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”“

Psalms 91:1-16 NIV

Wrap yourself and your loved ones in the true impenetrable bubble which is the blood of our Savior Jesus Christ. And may your momma’s or daddy’s heart find rest.