Trusting God When Fortitude Fails You

Years ago, I bought my first smart watch. I bought it to count my daily steps because we all know “steps not counted don’t count”. I could see if my calories burned were higher than the calories of my desserts. (They never are.) I could see missed phone calls, read texts, and of course know the time and usually how late I would be.

While recently traveling with my family to Alabama, we stopped overnight along the way. The next morning as I was packing the car, I heard something fall to the ground. I noticed my watch band had a faceless watch. I found it on the ground and realized quickly it wasn’t just snapping back on. Apparently as the battery gets older it swells and pushes the screen right off! With all the amazing things my watch can do it didn’t tell me this was coming.

I went into panic mode. I might miss texts from my children. I won’t know my resting heart rate. I won’t know the weather. I won’t know the time. And zero steps for 8 days. 🙂

My husband asked me if I wanted to go to a watch store before we got to the island. Suddenly the feeling of panic became a feeling of calmness.

In the last few weeks prior to this happening, I had found out that my mother’s cancer may have returned, my brother was diagnosed with a debilitating disease, and my beautiful cousin was going in for additional testing for breast cancer.

At that moment I didn’t want to waste time looking for a repair shop or buying a new watch. I just wanted to see my beautiful cousin Lisa and give her a big hug as we waited for the results.

We spent the first day visiting family we had not seen in a while, along with a few goats, cows, a donkey and a strutting turkey. We were enjoying every minute of our time together.

The results came while we were out shopping. Her cancer had spread. It felt like time had once again fallen to the ground.

We hugged and fought back tears as we stood at the front of the store. Then we both said “God has got this”.

In the well known words of Ecclesiastes, we are so eloquently told of the many moments of time.

“For everything there is a season and a time for every activity under heaven: a time to give birth and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted; a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build up; a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to discard; a time to tear apart and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬-‭8‬ ‭TLV‬‬

I read these verses later that evening and cried and prayed and ate ice cream right out of the carton. Luckily for me a 64 ounce carton is now only 48 ounces. Somewhere between the peanut butter and chocolate ice cream, the tears, and the wisdom of Solomon, I found peace.

We cannot control time but we can give control over to the One who is not governed by time. Maybe “time” stopped along the way so I would just be in the moment. I wouldn’t be seeking out distractions but seeking out interactions.

Being in the presence of our Heavenly Father is time well spent. Seeing and talking to family and friends is time well spent. Prayer is time well spent. Asking friends to pray is time well spent. I have a beautiful group of women back home praying for Lisa and for me. I could feel their prayers lifting me out of my sadness.

Seeking out the beauty and goodness in the world is time well spent. Being the beauty and goodness in the world is time well spent.

My trip started with faceless time but will end with timeless memories.

And speaking of time- set your clocks back tonight 11032024

God is good all the time ❤️